My kids are tattling on each other. A
LOT! It makes me a little nuts. I do not want to hear every single
perceived infraction. She did this. He said that. Because she was
going to do X-Y-Z. For heavens sake! Stop acting like children! Oh, wait! You are children. Ooooo-kay, I need to deal with this.
Growing up, if we fought and went
running to my mom to tell, she'd say to us, “well, just go and say
sorry to . . . (whichever of us was the offender).” Umm, wait, you
want me to apologize to . . . , but they're the one who hurt my
feelings/took my toy/pushed me/whatever. How does that work? Why am
I saying sorry to them? They did ME wrong! Apparently, when my mom
was growing up, her mom, my grandma Louise, did the same thing. Is
there something to it?
This morning, for whatever the reason,
Ryan felt an injustice had been done and he was going to tell me
about it. “Mommy, ____ did ______(fill in the blanks).” So I
turned to him and said, “go tell her you're sorry.” He turns
and starts running down the hall, “______, I'm sor - . What?
Mommy! She did it. Why do I have to say sorry?” I had an internal
chuckle. He was really peeved at me and kept trying to get me to
scold his sister. I want them to sort it out with each other,
without a referee.
When altercations occur, and I'm being
told about them, my first question is usually, “are you bleeding?”
If the answer is no, my response is, “well then, go sort it out.”
There are times I need to get involved, obviously, but my kids need to learn to
resolve things without the expectation that I am always going to intervene.
So, am I teaching them/giving them the
skills they need to do this with each other? I hope so. There are
days where I will catch them dealing with each other in a most
positive manner, and figuring it out. Yay, this is good. There are
days, much like the last three or four, where,
every-freaking-five-minutes they are yelling at me about it. I want
to just yell back, “enough already!” But I know that won't work.
So, deep breath, and another deep
breath, and let's sort this out. If your brother/sister hurt your
feelings, tell them so. If you hurt your brother/sister's feelings,
please apologize. Can we please try and get along with each other?
(Mommy and daddy are not planning on any more kids, so you're all
you've got – BE NICE!!!). Keep your hands to yourselves. Try to
ignore the pesty things your younger sibling/s do/does. And, my all
time favourite, if you are tattle-tale, it's not going to be easy
making friends. Kids don't like it when others tell on them. Even
my own children get riled up when one or the other is tattling on
them.
Am I getting it right? Again, I hope
so. I'm doing the best I can in each circumstance, I think. I am
grateful for the increased dose of patience I am currently receiving.
I am blessed each day by my children, the love that pours out
from them to me, to each other, and my love for them growing daily. Being a mom is so great, even
on the hardest, most trying, days.
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