Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The Butterfly Dance and other Dramatic Endeavours


A little game of remember when coming up, but first, the dance of the butterfly.  Or, my daughter's final dramatic event of grade one.

Ella's class has been studying the life cycle of the butterfly.  It starts out as a larvae, turns into a caterpillar, then the pupae, and then, voila! a butterfly.  As a class, they came up with the idea to do a dramatic dance about the butterfly's life.  They read the books The Very Hungry Caterpillar and The Lorax.  It took about 40 minutes to perform and it was really cute.  Ella and one of her classmates were selected to read The Very Hungry Caterpillar and were caught up in case of the giggles at one point that the adults chuckling as well.  Part of it might have been the other classmate who was wriggling around on the floor as the caterpillar.  Needless to say, it was fun, imaginative, and childlike.  A great time.

A couple of times it became almost painful to listen to.  And I don't mean this in an unkind way to any of the kids performing.  They worked really hard to do the presentation for us.  Some of them haven't quite got the voice projection yet.  So I literally could not hear them when they were reading their parts of the story.  Also made more difficult by the whine from my other two as to when it was going to be over.

It got me to thinking, this is the remember when part, about all of my dramatic endeavours as a kid.  My parents sat through Christmas and spring concerts through elementary school and yearly plays and presentations through high school.  And I was in every one.

When I was performing it seemed so incredibly dramatic and what we were doing must have everyone's full attention because, heck, we were doing such a fabulous job of being entertaining.  Right?  Maybe?  Maybe it was entertaining because I was trying so hard in grade one to not touch the boy in grade two who was the shoemaker.  I was the wife in The Elves and the Shoemaker and every night I had to go to sleep on this makeshift bed beside him.  I was practically off the bed in my attempts to not get near him.  Maybe it was entertaining when the two brothers started arguing about whose line it was in Charlotte's Web.  Or when part of the set caught on Katherine's dress during our rendition of The Taming of the Shrew and the fireplace fell down.  Or when the phone got ripped off the wall in Cheaper By The Dozen.  Maybe it was the distress of my having to wear an absolutely awful dress in Our Town and complain about being fat (it sort of went with the theme of my life at that time).

I remember, for the most part, having fun.  We did have fun.  And my mom always worked really hard on costumes for me.  I think of our days of dress rehearsals fondly, most of the time.  And our teacher, Ms. Houston was always so great.  Then I think, I really hope my kids will get the same enjoyment out of it as I did.   I am so proud of Ella.  She did a great job.  I'm pretty sure my parents felt the same about me when they were sitting the audience.

As the mom, now watching my own daughter, it's pretty stinking awesome!  And funny and painful and it takes a fair bit of patience.  To sit and to listen and to silence my other two.  How great though, that I get to be in the audience now.

So, so, so grateful that I get to watch this progression of my daughter through school.  She was a beautiful butterfly yesterday.


Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Fighting Melancholy


I am soooo looking forward to this school year being over.  Don't get me wrong, education is a very good thing.  But I'm ready for this round to be finished.  It seems to have gone by incredibly fast, except for these last few weeks.  They are dragging, and I mean, drrraaaggggiiiinnnnnggggg by.  Homework every night, packing lunches, reading and spelling.   I just feel done.

Part of the done feeling might be the weather.  Part of it might be the melancholy.  Fighting it hard right now.   I see sunny beach pictures and I want to be there, right now. RIGHT NOW!  I've done a bit in my garden, but the rain is so not helping things out.  Everything is prepped, I just don't see the point of putting things in that are going to rot.  Colossal waste of money.

Every morning as I attempt to wake Ella, it's “I don't want to get up.  I don't wanna go to school.  Do I have to go?”  Umm, well, so sorry to disturb your beauty sleep, but, it's time to get up.  NOW! Jim's days off have been really scattered, so planning anything has been pretty much non-existent.

I'm complaining. I don't want to.  It's just kind of turned into that.  Really, in the whole scheme of things, I have nothing to be complaining about.  Sometimes though, the melancholy happens.  And then the battle ensues.  Trying to tamp down those negative thoughts and feelings.  That ugly ticker tape that runs circles around my brain space and has me doubting my worth, my value, my being.  Ugh!  It frustrates me that things that have been said to me over time can still literally and figuratively bring me to my knees.  They are so unimportant in my life.  They should not matter.  And yet, somehow, I let them in, give them a foothold, and get myself pulled into an ugliness that should long be forgotten.

These last few days have been ones in which I have struggled.  Trying hard to see all the positive.  It shouldn't be so difficult.  I have a great husband, amazing kids, wonderful family members and the best friends a girl could ask for.  My prayers are just pleas right now.  A plea for peace of mind.  A plea for the dark thoughts to be taken away.  A plea for the sun to please shine.

I am grateful that there are only eight more days left in the school year.  I am grateful that I have the means to make lunches for my daughter to take to school.  I am grateful that I woke up this morning and got to spend some quality time with my kids and my parents in the same room.  I am grateful my husband's bike rides to and from work were safe and he is here watching the news right now.  I am grateful for the peonies my husband and kids picked – they are sitting so beautifully in a vase right now.  All good things are from above.



Tuesday, June 5, 2012

The unending gift of laundry . . .


There is a pile in my house.  It's never ending.  As soon as I think I've conquered it, it rears up again and I stare at it in defeat.  It's laundry.  It just never goes away and most certainly can't take care of itself.

As I stood over the washing machine yesterday, I was praying and petitioning to God over family and friends and my kids and my husband.  Measuring and pouring soap and starting the wash cycle.   Trying to remember all of the gifts in my life.  Sometimes, though, I really don't want the gift of laundry.

The wash cycle finishes and I transfer all of the wet clothes over to the dryer.  It's a mundane task.  It doesn't really take a whole lot of thought.  Clean out the lint collector, set the time on the dryer and start it.  Turn back to the washer and add more soap, start the water running, put the clothes in.  I can most certainly think of other things I would much rather be doing.

Decide I need to get a handle on all of the mending that's been piling up.  Missing buttons, separated seams, hems that need to be taken up, holes in the knees.  Another heaping pile of stuff I'd rather turn a blind eye to.  I got started and before I knew it almost two hours had gone by and I'd hemmed six pairs of pants for my boys, replaced two lost buttons, and repaired a dress and a pair of pants that were torn.  As I surveyed my accomplishments (I was feeling pretty good about the repairs, cause it's pretty great when you can fix something and have it not “look” like it's fixed) I prayed again.

Too many times there are things I wish I didn't have to do.  I wish I could walk away from and not deal with, turn a blind eye to.  They are not necessarily dramatic things, maybe slightly life altering, but usually, it's about an attitude.  Mine.  It needs a run through the washing machine.  Maybe alterations here and there.  Repairs.  Upkeep.   Remembering WHO is in control and that my prayers and petitions are heard and answered in the way they need to be answered.

My bigger picture had me being humbled by something so mundane as laundry.  Service to my family, taking care of their need for clean clothes in good repair.  My attitude went through the wash with the dirty towels.  It didn't come out all fluffy and sweet smelling, but maybe something close.  Refreshed and having a different perspective of what it means to daily be of service to others.

I am learning to be grateful for the gift of laundry.